When People Show Their Anger
They're everywhere - people who are just plain mad. If you work any kind of job, you'll meet them every day. You did - or didn't - do something and now they're ready to tell you that.Strongly. In no uncertain terms.
So how do you deal with these people? Hang up on them? Yell back? Glare at them until they melt into the floor?
Hopefully you would never go to these extremes, but the feelings are very real. Here are five ways that you can diffuse the situation and find a more peaceful resolution.
1. Pray. Even if it's just a couple of words to ask for wisdom for yourself and peace in the other person's heart. Prayer should be the first resort in any situation, not the last. This small act will calm you down and keep you from acting in a way you'll regret later.
2. Be kind. Ultra-kind. Extra-kind. It's tempting to meet fire with fire, but that just creates more fire. Only you can control fire - choose your words carefully and watch your tone of voice. What comes out of your mouth at this moment can make all the difference in the lives of two people, you and them.
3. Learn something. What worked in the confrontation? Were you able to say something in particular that diffused the situation? Did your tone of voice change things? How did God answer your prayer and how does He want you to move on from here?
4. Breathe. When we're in a tense situation, we're not really paying attention to the little things. In the heat of the moment, we'll hold our breath until we know what's going to happen next. Unfortunately, that makes us even more tense because our body actually needs more oxygen to function in a difficult situation. So the first opportunity you have, breathe. In for four counts and out for six. Always breathe out the bad longer than you're breathing in the good. You'll automatically relax.
5. Clear your mind. Don't replay the conversation over and over again in your head. Don't play out scenarios of what you should have said or could still say after the fact. Control your thought life instead of constructing fantasies - which is all they are - about being smarter or quicker or wittier. You'll only work yourself up and feel worse in the process.
While we can't control someone else's anger, we can control how we react. It can be a scary, tense and frustrating experience when we're faced with anger, but we can strengthen our testimony by dealing with it in a godly way and not reacting in equal anger.
So how do you deal with these people? Hang up on them? Yell back? Glare at them until they melt into the floor?
Hopefully you would never go to these extremes, but the feelings are very real. Here are five ways that you can diffuse the situation and find a more peaceful resolution.
1. Pray. Even if it's just a couple of words to ask for wisdom for yourself and peace in the other person's heart. Prayer should be the first resort in any situation, not the last. This small act will calm you down and keep you from acting in a way you'll regret later.
2. Be kind. Ultra-kind. Extra-kind. It's tempting to meet fire with fire, but that just creates more fire. Only you can control fire - choose your words carefully and watch your tone of voice. What comes out of your mouth at this moment can make all the difference in the lives of two people, you and them.
3. Learn something. What worked in the confrontation? Were you able to say something in particular that diffused the situation? Did your tone of voice change things? How did God answer your prayer and how does He want you to move on from here?
4. Breathe. When we're in a tense situation, we're not really paying attention to the little things. In the heat of the moment, we'll hold our breath until we know what's going to happen next. Unfortunately, that makes us even more tense because our body actually needs more oxygen to function in a difficult situation. So the first opportunity you have, breathe. In for four counts and out for six. Always breathe out the bad longer than you're breathing in the good. You'll automatically relax.
5. Clear your mind. Don't replay the conversation over and over again in your head. Don't play out scenarios of what you should have said or could still say after the fact. Control your thought life instead of constructing fantasies - which is all they are - about being smarter or quicker or wittier. You'll only work yourself up and feel worse in the process.
While we can't control someone else's anger, we can control how we react. It can be a scary, tense and frustrating experience when we're faced with anger, but we can strengthen our testimony by dealing with it in a godly way and not reacting in equal anger.
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