That Email

The response to my email was short and sweet. And filled with passive aggressive blame. I reached out with a question, and now suddenly I was in the wrong. 

It's not the first time this has happened. This is an amazing person with lots of great qualities, an opinion I share frequently with other people, but communication is not one of them. Their intelligence, passion, and expertise are quickly overshadowed by a sharp tongue and lack of patience that turn into overblown situations.

Do you know how hard it was to not stay in the flesh and respond in kind? Of course you do. I'm sure you've had similar conversations, both digitally and in person. An eye for an eye and pain for pain just because you can - it's so easy and would feel so good momentarily. Other people do it and get away with it.

What I wanted to do was sit down at my computer and fire back word for word and hurt for hurt. I can still feel the heat in my face when I think about those words. Someone's got to let the people inflicting pain in this world know that it's not ok, right?

No, actually. 

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

This is always the first Scripture that comes to mind when I think about how I use my words. The things we can say can cause death - pain, physical stress, mental anguish, and emotional trauma that can last a lifetime. Or they can bring life - healing, peace, support, encouragement, and love. This is a real, actual choice we make every single time we open our mouths. It's not a cute cliche, but a powerful decision to use our words to glorify God in each syllable.

I could easily have taken an angry stand in a responding email, but I didn't. Honestly, I couldn't even type those words and then delete them. And not because I was afraid I would accidentally send the message and would feel guilty about thinking those thoughts. I was more concerned about allowing those harsh words to come pouring out of my heart in the first place.

So what was my motivation instead?

What if no one else had said one kind word to that person today? What if they were struggling or hurting or upset about something that had absolutely nothing to do with me? Who am I to compound the problem and add layer up layer of hurt?

I found out later that this actually was the case, it had nothing to do with me, and it was spilling over from several other frustrations. Chalk one up to the Holy Spirit pricking my heart.

When we're confronted with negative actions and reactions of any kind, it's up to us to fall back to what we know Scripture says to do in response. Will we be death, or will we choose life? That decision can make all the difference in someone else's life, and that is how we bring God the honor and the glory due Him.

What will your words be today?

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